Eva Mendes is in rehab

TMZ revealed today that Eva Mendes is in rehab battling a substance abuse problem:

We’re told the “Ghost Rider” star is at the famous Cirque Lodge, near Sundance. The Lodge, which treated Lindsay Lohan and other stars, is one of the most respected treatment facilities in the country.
Eva has been at Cirque for several weeks.

Her addiction? My guess is ass-patting. I had a problem with it myself. It was really affecting my work. I mean, I would pat anyone’s ass. My secretary, random co-workers, Ted in Accounting. Also the copying machine. Oh, that copying machine. Such a tight buttocks on that one… But, anyway, I got some help and I think I’m better for it. Best of luck to Eva.